Guidance for Goal Setting

Like most, I learned the hard way, so it was no surprise to me when I realized the difference between empty goals (purposeless goals) and purpose-filled goals.

I know some of you are probably thinking a goal is a goal, and once you reach it, that's it. While you can certainly achieve any goal you set, there is definitely a difference between purpose-filled goals and purposeless (empty) goals. The greatest difference is happiness. Empty goals leave you just that—empty. While it may not seem so, I ask you to consider a new perspective.

Roughly three years ago, I wrote some goals in my journal (yes, I keep a journal, I always have), and since that entry, I've checked each of those goals off of my list. Now, just so we can have concrete examples of the goals, I've listed a couple of them below:

1. Make 100K annual salary by the age of 30

2. Volunteer more

Again, these were not all of the goals I had set for myself, but just a couple that I used to illustrate the point of this post.

I checked these goals off my list, labeled them as done, and went on to the next. It wasn't until I reflected upon achieving some of these goals that I noticed one lacked purpose. At that point in my life (years ago), I recognized my God-given purpose. However, when these goals were set, I felt like both would make me happier and more accomplished, and that upon completion, I would be walking toward my purpose while simultaneously fulfilling my dreams. But, little did I know I had not yet realized how to tell the difference between purposeful and empty goals.

How to determine if a goal is purposeful?

I had to determine the difference between the goal's purpose and the goal's role in my purpose. The goal's purpose speaks to the motivation behind the goal and the goal's impact on my life. The goal's role in my purpose means just that and answers the question: Does the goal align with my purpose?

Take, for example, my second goal, to volunteer more. In pursuit of this goal I decided to join the Missions Ministry at my church. One of the first community service events I participated in was sorting through donated canned and boxed goods and composing Thanksgiving meals for needy families. After that, I didn't participate as much in the ministry as I should have, but I checked it off the list. I felt good about my work. So the goal was purposeful because the motivation behind the goal was selfless. Selflessness always yields a clear conscience. The goal's impact on my life was realizing that I was helping a family, which is a key component of my purpose.

So, the goal's role in my purpose was fulfilled.

What makes a goal empty?

To determine if my goal was empty, I could have used the same questions provided to help me identify whether my goal is purposeful, considering the goal's purpose and the goal's role in my purpose. But while coming into my own realizations, I made the process easier and considered just two things: 1) the motivation and 2) the long-term impact.

When I thought about these two things sincerely, I knew right away which goal was empty because of my rationale for pursuing it. So, to understand why the goal was empty and explore whether it had a role in my purpose, I, too, considered the impact of the goal.

The Motivation

Have you ever paid attention to your motivation behind a set goal?

The reason you may pursue a goal is a direct reflection of whether or not that goal is purposeful or empty. Take my first goal, for instance, to make 100K in annual salary by 30. Besides wanting to make money, I mistakenly viewed compensation as a measure of success. It was easy to do because society drowns us with notions that money equates to power, success, and happiness. So I thought the goal was in pursuit of happiness. But if I am being honest, I believe a small part of me was motivated to prove a point to others. Either way, my motivation suggests that the goal was purposeless or empty.

The Impact

A goal with substance (purpose) has a lasting impact on your life. You essentially evolve, grow, and establish an undying relationship with that goal that either speaks to, helps, or shows love to others. However, empty goals have no lasting impact. Empty goals have short-term gains and permanent losses.

So, what was the impact of my reaching my financial goal?

Well, momentary gratification in the ability to spend. That sounds shallow, I know, but that is exactly what I was granted: the ability to pay, but not always with good intentions. Not only that but while I did some good and donated money to support good causes, I got caught up in the desire to have more despite not needing more. I worked hard and made more; in the end, I was left burnt out, tired, and stressed.

Where was the happiness in that?

Non-existent. I was caught up in the momentary gratification of trips, expensive trinkets, and the ability to spoil those I loved. But as far as genuinely being happy and experiencing happiness, I was not that. I associated happiness with satisfying my desire for things. Therefore, as far as fulfilling my purpose, I failed—not because I could do good for others, but because I was motivated by a desire for more.

In hindsight, happiness rests in the absence of greed. People always mock the notion that you can be happy and poor, but quite frankly you certainly can be. Now, whether you want to be, that is a different story.

I will always feel gracious about my second goal, desire, and ability to help others. It remains a happy thought, diminishing any negative memory surrounding that time. Regardless of my financial situation, I made time to give to others that was plentiful in my life. Life is about making more of those moments. Loving yourself and your neighbor through every choice you make. Being conscious of the fact that our choices impact others. And being appreciative of life itself. The ability to walk, think independently, see, love, and breathe...

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