How to Stop Being Controlled by Fear
How many times have you wondered why haven't you reached a goal, finished a deadline or pursued other interest?
How many times have you questioned why won't you allow yourself to take a risk and/or a chance?
How many times have you wanted to slap yourself for being afraid?
Some of us will say that we don't believe ourselves to be controlled by fear, and have never allowed fear to keep us from being great. But for the rest of us not afraid to admit our shortcomings, we would be able to make a list of all the things we've said we would do, but never did. And we may even be able to admit that fear, whether directly or indirectly, impacted our decision to not take risks or do those things we wanted to do.
Fear is manageable, but we have to admit that it's there in order to confront it and squash it or use it. -Audreyanna Garrett
If I had a dollar for every ounce of fear someone tried to instill in me when I decided to take a chance to reach a goal, I would be rich. But if I never took a risk in my life, I would probably only have one degree, working in a field that I don't love, with a stable job and a predictable future.
Now for some people that's an ideal lifestyle, but it's only ideal if you never want to explore or experience anything new. It's like waking up in the movie Groundhog's Day, replaying the same day over, and over and over, and over again... BORING!
But I learned that the ounce of fear, due to uncertainty, that I held on to when taking chances in my life, gave me something to look forward to. It gave me a reason to continue to pursue my dreams and purpose. That ounce of fear was what I needed to ensure that all precautionary measures were taken and I developed a plan that was air tight!
I say ounce because anything more than that is discouraging. Too much fear yields to anxiety, which will stunt your growth. Being caught up in the "what ifs" will keep you from being the best version of yourself. So why wonder what if, when you can allow the universe to work for you and allow God (or whatever power/being you believe in) to put you right where you ought to be.
So I don't discourage fear totally, because I realized that by allowing yourself to acknowledge that you're afraid or scared is not a trait of the weak, well not as we like to think it is. It's really quite the opposite.
But because many of us hold in high regard family/societal values and opinions, we allow our relationships (sibling, parent, social, etc.) to influence our decisions. And more often than not, we don't realize how often we allow someone else's fear to drive decisions in our lives.
Essentially, some of us allow other's fears to dictate our stories.
When you think about it like that, some of us can easily identify those who we allow to cast/project their fears onto us. Great thing about being able to recognize this, is that you can learn to make a choice to say you don't want to be controlled by someone else's fear. And if you can chose not to allow the fear of others shape your decisions, you will see just how easily your fears fuel you from a place of excitement, versus anxiety for the unknown...
I had to learn to tap into and recognize 3 things in order to combat fear, I realized I needed to identify with my intentions/motives, be confident and keep my eyes on the reward.
Here are 3 things you need to combat fear!
1) Identify Intention & Motive!
A lot of times we don't realize that motivation and intention are the very things that combat fear. When you know the purpose behind a decision, it is easier to stand firm in that decision. You can be steadfast and unwavering when you are certain of your intention and motivations.
When you are able to identify with your purpose and reason for making a decision, you've identified a justifiable reason for it, and no matter what doubt is cast on to you by others, you believe strongly that your decision is perfect or ideal for you and appropriate.
Therefore, combatting fear becomes a matter of making others understand that your intention and motivation is deliberate and appropriate.
2) Be confident!
One thing we don't realize is that when sharing ideas with others, based on the way we present that idea, it sets the tone for the amount of fear that may be placed on that idea.
Think about it...
If you're not confident in your decisions you allow others to be fearful, especially when they care for you and are invested in your success.
But, understanding the role of confidence in decision making, allows you to negate projected fears!
3) Keep your eye on the prize!
This may just be the shortest thought I've ever had, but FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS!
When you know what you are working towards, where is the fear in that?
When you are focused on the goal/prize that you are excited to achieve, you don't deter easy. No one can talk you out of obtaining a desired goal, so when you focus on said goal, you leave no room for fear!
When you are going through life uncertain of outcomes, remember that you can combat the fear of uncertainty by acknowledging your motivation and intention, being confident in your plan and keeping your eye on the reward. It's really quite that simple, but I understand that when you don't have the tools, you can't use them!