Needless to say, how shocked and disappointed I was when I saw these images on my timeline.
What moved me the most, was how proud these women seem to be with being a "side chick".
Now, I have always felt that all women in this world should view themselves as an asset, and value themselves enough to know they deserve to be the ONLY chick, and not just settle for being a "side chick".
So why are some women ok with being a "side chick"?
The perception of relationships is formed and molded by individuals with reach. Those who have the attention of the masses and demonstrate behavior that is often imitated e.g. musicians, actors, actressses, billionaires, etc. The problem is too often we see negative behavior that trends. We see celebrity men having multiple women, relationships,wives, and disrespecting women, and other men praising and adopting that behavior. Or we see women dressed in next to nothing, posting pictures of silhouettes of their bodies to "get noticed", motivated by the desires for fame. This type of behavior becomes the norm, and we see it everyday; behavior that should not be encouraged but is mimicked without hesitation.
Men and women are making this behavior acceptable. I am sure some of you are shocked that I would say men & women, but here is why. To be frank, men encourage this behavior and women accept the behavior. As shown in the photos of this post. The adoptation of "side chick" has become something that is commonly viewed as "normal". We operate in a world where this behavior has become ok and women are not holding men accountable, as well as women are encouraging this behavior.
Consider this, if we stopped being "side chicks", would men be able to get away with this? Absolutely not! The point is that this is the norm because it is accepted. So if he is willing to take care of his "side chick" and his wife or "main chick", than men see no problem with the behavior. And unfortunately women selfishly want those benefits, so they deal with the "side chick", rationalizing his behavior and there in lies the problem. Women who get comfortable with a lifestyle, and having a man who takes full financial responsibility, consider what life would be like in the absence of that. And most women will accept that their man or husband cheats or has a "side chick" in order to remain comfortable. So because she is ok with compromising her happiness for comfort, so the "side chick" will always exist...
I have also heard men say that the "side chick" is strickly for sex, and it makes me wonder how one could be in a relationship with a women who is not completely satisfying his needs... Why are women turning their heads to men who allow a second or third person in their bed? Why are women continuing to accept the "side chick" in order to keep the man from leaving them at all? Is it not clear from his behavior that his love for you is questionable? If he is not completely satisfied by you, don't you deserve more? And to be frank, so does he. It is time for women to start allowing men the chance to find what makes them happy, instead of allowing them trials, with no consequences, until they get it right.
Why is sex such a major component of relationships?
We are all familiar with the video vixen for who the term "super-head" was coined. She became famous for her ability to perform oral sex, and supposedly got paid to do so from film/music industry superstars. So if she was passing out head that was considered "super", what man was going to pass up the opportunity to experience that?
Sex is one of the key components in a romantic relationship. Because we have gotten so far from the conservative nature of intercourse, there are few relationships that exist in the absence of sex. So if we have to have sex, it must be satisfying, and when it is not, men search for women to fulfill that need. And because most men love a loyal women, they will not up and leave her just because she cannot satisfy him sexually. He will just go out and find a women who can sexually satisfy him and be ok with being just that. Problem is over time it never works out for both parties. Either the "side chick" becomes tired of pleasing a man she can't be with everyday and publicly love, or the main chick grows tired of not being enough.
Why I said "No" to being a side chick?
I not now, nor have I ever considered myself a "side chick", so I cannot say I understand how men make "side chicks" feel. But I do know that I have had plenty of opportunities to become a side chick and I preferred not to be that person. And there are many reasons why not, but most importantly because I knew I deserved more.
I also believe in karma, therefore I put into the universe what I want to receive. I always have and always will.
So my decision to not be a "side chick" boils down to the level of respect I have for myself and for other women. I will never be desperate enough to settle for sharing a man with anyone.
With the rate people are catching diseases these days, we should all be
more conscious of who we love. We can't allow ourselves to deal with less than we deserve because we are blinded by our passion to portray or live a certain lifestyle.
Anything I want in this world, I work hard to acquire, so there is no price on any part of my body. I know that sounds cliche but it's my truth. I love for free, so if I am intimate with someone, he wouldn't be paying for it, because I would be selective in who is deserving of it...