I can honestly say that I've never been in a relationship with a man whose mother (I've met) didn't love or really really like me (depending on the length of the relationship). Yes that is a true statement. I've literally been liked by every one of my boyfriend's mothers. And none of it was forced, every relationship was genuine. So much so that I can guarantee they still like me to this day.
Well before I begin sharing tips to being the woman your boyfriend's, finance's etc. mother would love, I want to give you something to keep in mind while reading the this post:
When you get the opportunity to meet your boyfriend's mother, the intent is that you establish and build a relationship. Therefore you must actively participate in that. You can't expect to just show up, say "Hi", answer questions and think you've made the cut. You have to be you, while being respectful, honest, conservative and certain! My hope is that you do not take this post as an instructional, but rather you understand your role in managing how you are perceived and received.
Also, be mindful that men don't just up and decide at random when they feel comfortable with you meeting their mother. There are two types of men when it comes to meeting mothers, 1) Momma's boys, they always seek their mom's approval in everything they do, or 2) the man who respects his mom's time and holds her opinion in high regard. He is very selective with women he brings home to meet his mother, as well as very receptive of her opinion.
So, with than being said, here is tip #1:
1-Use the context clues!
If your man mentions that his mom likes a certain particular girl, he's Type 2, and if he says things like, "Every one of my girlfriends has met my mom," he's Type 1. So pay attention to the context clues to see exactly which type of man your dealing with. That will also give you much insight to the type of woman your man's mother is.
If your man is type one than be careful because his mother will probably be very friendly and hard to read, but very observant. Type 1 mother's
make you feel comfortable, in a way that your probably almost too comfortable. So you, without a second thought, show them all your weaknesses because they make you feel safe and clear of judgment. But I'm here to warn you, you will be judged. Just be cautious of how much you open up, and don't take too many skeletons out the closet at once.
If your man is type two than be patient because you could be waiting forever before you meet his mother. But when you do, be mindful that it's a big step for him. But don't think just because you've met his mother, your a sure in for wife because depending on how mom likes you, will determine whether you stick around or get dismissed.
Also note that just because you stick around, it doesn't mean mom likes you. Your man may not have the heart to tell you immediately what happened, so you may become a filler, until he finds a more suitable lady to bring home.
Regardless to which type of man or mom your dealing with, make sure your paying attention, your man will tell you more about his mother than you realize.
2-Image is everything!
Regardless to which type of mother your man's mom is, she is still watching you! Image is everything. So be aware of what you have on and what type of meet and greet you are going to. If your going over or out to dinner, be formal with greetings, but dress according to the restaurant or venue. Formalities are a reflection of class and respect, while overdressing is a signal of "thirst" or "trying to hard".
Don't give off the wrong impression.
I promise she doesn't want to see you in a suit for dinner and then in tight fitting clothes in all the photos with her son or at every other encounter with you.
And remember to be sure to represent your age in your style, be consistent and be you!
3-Intuition is real!
Mother's intuition is certainly real and VERY ACCURATE. And just because your man makes you feel like his mom is crazy, or cautions you that she may not like you (for whatever reason), you still have to understand that none of that weighs on how her intuition will perceive you. Just know that you have the ability to manage the vibes you give off by simply being respectful and being you. Do not fake or be extra. If your a bit shy be that, if your outspoken, speak, but regardless be cognizant of how you express yourself.
And even if after all of that she doesn't like you, at least feel good knowing that she really didn't like you, and not the person you were "trying" to be in order to impress her. That's why it's important to be certain of who you are and your expectations with your boyfriend when meeting his mother. Your intentions will always be made apparent. So if your intentions are not pure, do not agree to meet your man's mother. Because she will see right through you!
So I hope this article has given you much to consider when your chosen to meet the mother of your boyfriend.
So take a moment to consider if you're a woman that all of your Ex's mothers liked/loved? Or are you the woman who never meets the mom?
Please share your thoughts and stories below.