"The hardest person to accept, is YOURSELF!"-AudriWrites
I still believe one of our greatest challenges in life will be to learn to accept ourselves and others. As I have stated previously in a post on my blog, "Are you waiting to be rescued?".
And choosing to accept ourselves, our journeys, or pain, etc., will be one of the hardest things we will ever have to do. Mainly because with acceptance comes acknowledging we are less than... And certainly no one is built to accept and acknowledge their deficits. Reason being, we are conditioned by society to outcast those who don't "fit in", so when we identify something less than ideal about ourself, we either ONE, hide it, or TWO ignore it! Simple as that.
So needless to say, it takes a journey of self-actualization and growth, before we are able to accept ourselves, because honestly we'd prefer to ignore that we're less than the norm. And ironically try to "self-improve" or change to meet that norm.
Does that make sense?
Well for those who don't get it, here is an example:
Take for instance Kelly (random person), Kelly is socially awkward and has freckles all over her face. Kelly is constantly picked on for not having "clear skin" so she believes that she has a deficit, when in fact her only deficit is not accepting her freckles and loving herself as is. Instead Kelly learns to wear make-up to cover up her freckles, so she fits in. But later states that she loves how she looks and is confident, and feels beautiful with make-up on...see the contradiction?
Kelly doesn't actualize what it means to love herself. Kelly is trying fit in without acknowledging that she doesn't accept herself!
Now granted we could have several different scenarios that drive this point home, but considering the example, can you recognize that you are doing or have done, some of the things Kelly is doing? Do you identify that you do not love yourself as much as you want to portray that you do? Do you acknowledge that you still subconsciously seek permission to accept yourself from others?
If you can recognize that you have things in common with Kelly, then it is time for SELF-LOVE REDEDICATION.
Well that's because as a child, you love yourself, you only begin to question that love and/or disassociate with that love, when cultural norms, social expectations and standards start to mean more than self loving (process of finding oneself and/or identifying one's purpose).
Very few people can say they have walked through life practicing self love everyday. And that's because when you are growing, and come to learn and find yourself, what you accept and love about yourself varies.
For instance Kelly in school didn't like her freckles, but Kelly as an adult may not like her hair or her body shape. For many of us, our insecurities vary on what is objectified in the media at that time, and/or what is considered socially and culturally acceptable at a certain time.
So how do we rededicate to self love?
Well that's really quite simple, all you have to do is CHOOSE. Yeah, that's really it. Just make the choice to love yourself wholeheartedly, and sit in silence and/or stillness and embrace everything people have given you cause not to accept. SAY FUCK THEIR OPINION. And my apologies for being vulgar, but sometimes curse words provoke the appropriate emotion necessary to complete crucial tasks in life.
So as many of us have come to learn, self-love can make or break you. The lack of self-love is the reason many justify being treated poorly, abused and/or can't identify their worth. Without self love you are prone to internalize the insecurities of others. And if you follow me on Instagram, you have seen this quote, "I stopped letting others hold me responsible for their insecurities.
And what that means is that you have reached a point in your life where you no longer internalize other's insecurities. You stop rationalizing and blaming yourself for someone else's deficits. Only someone who truly loves, knows and accepts themselves can identify when blame is misplaced.
So moral is, choose to get reacquainted with yourself, to love and accept the individual that you are, flaws and all. Walk in that vulnerability, strengthen it and be the person that people learn to accept, solely because you don't give them permission NOT TO ACCEPT YOU!