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The battle with disappointment...

October 17, 2018

As much as I discuss not setting unrealistic expectations, you would think I wouldn't continue to have issues with disappointment. 

 

Unfortunately, however, I get that no matter how hard we try, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Especially when we assume or fail to anticipate undesired outcomes.

 

So while I get that disappointment sometimes is inevitable, I hope that we can prepare ourselves for disappointment and learn how to recovery from it.

 

So here are tools (things to remember) to help minimize and aid with bouncing back from disappointments in life.


HOPE LESS

 

There is a space between hope and less because it signifies two words, hope less. The purpose is to get you to understand that hoping less minimizes your encounters with disappointment.

 

Consider this:

Ever notice how easy it is for us to get mad at someone else for getting our hopes up, and how difficult it may be to forgive that person? However, we don't often consider how much we hope and wish for unrealistic outcomes. Those same hopes and outcomes that may never come to us, yield disappointment in our lives. But we'd gladly attack someone else for disappointing us, before we will prepare ourselves from disappointment.
 

Crazy right? 

 

Either way just because something doesn't go the way we want it to, doesn't mean it may not be meant to be, it simply may be that it's not the right time, person, place or thing. 

 

When we hope, we are anticipating that every aspect of a situation is ideal for us, when it could be that there are factors that are not meant for us to have! 

 

But that doesn't mean we should give up on a goal, I am simply suggesting that you just be patient, and/or explore other avenues of achieving it.  

 

ANTICIPATE THE UNEXPECTED

 

One of the most valued lessons I have learned in my adulthood is that I shouldn't be certain of a given outcome. More specifically, I shouldn't be certain of how some one will respond.

 

I grew up in a christian (Baptist) church where I was always taught that God is omniscient (all knowing) and no one else. But even though I grew up believing this, I failed to consider that I am not God in some instances. And that sounds weird I know, but just think about it...  

 

Even the people with great faith tend to confuse from time to time that just because we pray for something doesn't mean it is meant for us. And just because we desire something so strongly and "wish" it into our lives, doesn't mean it will happen.

 

And you can say what you want, but it's merely a fact that lack of preparation for the unexpected lends to great disappointment.

 

So why put yourself through the frustration and pain, when you can just accept that you don't know the outcome, and be ready for all possibilities?

 

EMBRACE THE LESSON

 

I think it is safe to say that 90% of the time when we experience disappointment there is always a lesson to be learned.

 

I found that it was a lot easier to stomach disappointment when you quickly identify the lesson and accept it.

 

Not only does learning from past mistakes help prepare you best for the future, but it simply aids with understanding that you don't have control over everything and every situation.

 

RELEASE CONTROL

 

Releasing control increases our ability to live and experience life as is, versus what we expect it to be. We will then find an ability to appreciate more of everything, if we take time to stop trying to control it.

 

I think if we all understood this, disappointment would just be another word, and not a state or mood that so negatively impacts our perspective on life...

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