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Femininity is NOT Toxic!

March 29, 2019

 

 

As promised, I created this post to follow up the last explaining why there is no formal term comparable to "toxic masculinity".

 

Men, I apologize in advance, because something tells me that you all will feel some type of way about the content of this post. And I get it. You feel it's not fair right? The same way women not having equal rights was not fair...but I digress.

 

Femininity is defined (per Google) as attributes and qualities of women.

 

But that's vague right?  

 

Especially since today, gender pronouns can now be defined by individuals themselves. 

 

But based on the history of the United States and what we know to be true, female qualities have been identified as sensitive, sympathetic, empathetic, homemaker, caregiver, etc. And socially, any man who assumes these qualities are considered a "female", and he'd be told he's "acting like a woman".  


So what can we identify as "toxic" about female qualities?  

 

Based on our cultural associations with femininity, the answer is NOTHING! 

 

WHY "TOXIC FEMININITY" DOESN'T EXIST

 

Now here's where it gets tricky, knowing what we know about femininity, and based on the definition provided about toxic masculinity, there can not be a female equivalent to "toxic masculinity" (or "toxic femininity") because there are not qualities of the culturally defined term, feminine, that are negative and/or toxic.

 

Because remember:

 

The Definition(s) of "Toxic Masculinity"

 

Toxic masculinity is socially defined as attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive, etc.

 

So essentially the same rules just don't apply...

 

CAN FEMALE BEHAVIOR BE TOXIC?

 

I think the other think men are having an issue with is the fact that just because there is no term equivalent, at this time, it doesn't mean that we are dismissing the idea that there can be female behaviors that are toxic. Because FEMALE BEHAVIOR CAN BE TOXIC!

 

There just can't be an association of toxic with femininity...  

 

VERY SPECIFIC. I know...  

 

But know that I do believe that there are females who exhibit toxic behavior.  

 

Speaking in terms of psychology, we can assume that due to the injustice experienced by women (inequality, which lead to feminist movement), women are very capable of harmful and destructive behavior.   

 

I call on the concept of misogyny from the previous post. Because while misogyny is harmful "unconscious" behavior associated with the male gender role (also defined as toxic masculinity) it is a result of trauma.  

 

So men, just as well as you, women, are capable of toxic behavior as a result of trauma. No one is exempt from that.  

 

Inequality is traumatic. Specifically for black men, the impact of inequality, on top of females now finding their voice and the cultural dynamic change of "female independence" and "self-sufficiency", it can be even more traumatic. Which essentially yields harmful and destructive behavior.  

 

The greatest thing for us to do with this the information of this post, is accept OUR role in it. And work collectively to mitigate the toxic association of gender specific behavior...

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