Ever notice how second nature it is to identify something that we don’t like?
Many of us constantly complain about things that don’t align with our perception or meet our expectations, without ever considering what, about those things, make us so unhappy.
Chronic complainers, are cynical and pessimistic. Not only are they incapable of seeing the “glass half full", they tend to seek constant validation for their actions or inactions. They want people to continue to empathize and sympathize with them, despite their lack of reason.
Chronic complainers are very consumed with themselves, what they see (perception), and what they want to be true (expectation).
Most chronic complainers speak in terms of “what they don’t allow”, “what they don’t like” and “what they expect(ed)”. And when someone doesn’t meet that expectation, they tend to sulk more in their misfortune and unhappiness, despite their ability to control it.
You don’t have to whine about everything to express and or get someone to understand your opinion. And understanding does not always equate to empathy!
HERE ARE FOUR THINGS CHRONIC COMPLAINERS SHOULD KNOW!
I. Your opinion (perception) is not always right!
It's so easy to be irrational. However, it's not so easy ensuring that you are fair and responsible in your communication with others. That's why it's important to know that you don't have to degrade or demean those whose perception doesn't align with your own, or your expectation.
The real challenge is in being willing to engage in unbiased conversation. As well as being willing to listen to someone else's reason.
II. Your expectations clarify your history of disappointments!
Very few realize that expectations are formed from a history of disappointments, because those disappointments directly impact perception. So the focus shifts to what could possibly go wrong, versus what will go right.
Instinctively you then shape encounters with people to prevent being let down, hurt or disappointed, to control the narrative. Instead of just allowing people to be who they are and accepting it.
But anticipating the disappointment doesn't mean you have to hold other's to your expectation, however it should keep you from being let down!
III. Everyone is not invested in your happiness.
By operating under the assumption that not everyone is invested in your happiness, you understand that no one is obligated to make you happy. Therefore you don't walk around expecting people to please you.
Majority of those who complain, obsess over why someone can't be what they need, or why they weren't what they thought they were. When you understand and accept that not everyone is perfect, you become ok with learning when someone is not for you. Matter of fact you appreciate this realization most, because it helped you save a lot of time and energy!
IV. You have more control over your mood than you think!
If you are a chronic complainer and actually want to work on changing your ways, make sure that you check yourself on your opinions, and stop giving others so much power to control your mood.
Glass half full remember. Be willing to redirect the control you wish to have on someone else's behavior, to being mindful of your own.
Don't allow yourself to be upset by someone else's shortcomings. Recognize that you can say "it's ok" or "I understand" and like that person even while knowing they may not be for you.
Complaining should have no place in your life, if you truly wish to be happy!
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