Habits of Unhappy People
It's disappointing that in the current climate of America, we are so consumed with the perceptions and ideals of others. So much so, that we spend very little time getting to know ourselves; ultimately leaving us unable to identify what essentially makes us happy.
Additionally, because we have a hard time differentiating reality from social media, many of us can not recognize that we're only happy in the moments that we're logged in to social networks, with attention from people who are so far removed from our reality.
It is important, though, that we spend time investing in our wellness (mental and physical health) so that we can determine how to ensure our happiness. And I've learned that you can't find peace if you can't figure out how to function in life happy.
With that being said, do you know if you are currently happy? Can you articulate what contributes to your happiness?
These are simple questions, with simple responses, but often left unanswered...
The crazy thing is, there's honestly no art to happiness. You either choose to be happy or you don't. But, to determine what that looks like, for many of us it is always easier to identify what it should NOT look like.
Here are a few habits of unhappy people you should be aware of!
I. Stuck in the past and/or future too much!
Just as simple as it reads. If you are constantly stuck in the hope for what could be, and or constantly reliving the past of what could have been, you are not happily existing in the present. Your mind, focus, and energy are on what could and/or what would have been, instead of what's happening today.
Needless to say, this is impractical and you don't want to limit your growth because you are stuck in the past, or are too focused on the future.
II. Constantly comparing yourself to others!
Those of us who constantly compare ourselves to others don't see the value in ourselves; meaning you have a hard time identifying your worth. And if you can't identify your worth you stay in awe, jealousy, or envy of others. Wanting what they have or constantly putting yourself in their shoes because you can't identify what you are capable of, what your purpose is, and what you deserve.
Don't do this!
Part of being happy is living in your skin without regret, and walking through this life without that regret fulfilling your dreams. There is only one you in this world, it's time we come to terms with that, accept that, and work on loving the idea of being our authentic selves every day. Regardless of how different we are from others.
III. Focusing on the negative! (Curse of Pessimism)
This one should go without explanation, but when you constantly focus on the negative you aren't happy in the moments that make up your lifetime.
Glass Half Empty People: Optimism is the foundation of cheer. To be hopeful of and positive about outcomes decreases room for negativity to seep in. After all, pessimism is defined, according to Google, as the tendency to see the worst in things believe the worst will happen, and the inability to be hopeful about the future.
The biggest concern and questions you should ask yourself should be, why is it that I can't be positive? Why can't I see good?
It is important to consider what happened in your journey that hinders you from being hopeful.
Answering these questions will address your deficits, and allow you to address them head-on.
IV. Too Self-Centered!
The most important thing about number four is to understand that there is a great difference between being self-centered and self-aware. Being confident and accepting of yourself doesn't mean that you are self-centered. Many like to confuse being self-aware with being self-centered to justify the means, but these are two very different things.
Self-centered people crave attention, so they tend to be heavily insecure and focused more on what others think or say about them...
Being self-centered means that you are self-consumed, selfish (self-serving), inconsiderate of others, and only see things one way, your own.
If this is you, you must come to understand that several people in this world don't care about you, what you think, how you feel, or what you want. Period.
V. Bitterness
Not to state the obvious but it should be clear that if you're bitter, you certainly aren't happy.
It's easy to get wrapped up in hurt feelings and not know how to release that pain, anger, and/or frustration. But that's the basis of bitterness. That's what makes us vindictive, spiteful, petty, etc.
Only those who have no desire or know how to forgive, create opportunities to get stuck in the loop of bitterness. And confrontation is the only way out of it. Allow yourself to forgive, and give someone the chance to be forgiven. Even if they do not take the opportunity to be forgiven, they don't have to for you to move forward.
Decide within yourself to choose to let go of negative energy.
It's time that we acknowledge that we have control over our happiness, and take that control back. We must be willing to try and make an effort to be accountable for our happiness.
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