This is probably going to be one of the most side-eyed posts I've ever written, but it's definitely necessary. I want to take the opportunity to challenge "expectations" in general. Unfortunately, in my opinion, we often associate expectations with our values. These however are not the same. Nor should one exist for the same of the other. Unpopular opinion, I know, but I will explain why. First by exploring the differences between the definition of values versus expectations.

Values are deeply held beliefs that guide how we live, make decisions, and relate to others. They are internal, stable, and within our control and shaped or adjusted based on our level of individual growth, maturity and emotional intelligence. Values are shown through our behavior or how we show up when connecting with others. For example, honesty, respect, accountability, or compassion. When we live in alignment with our values, our behavior remains consistent regardless of how others act or treat us.

Expectations, on the other hand, are assumptions about how other people treat or engage with us, how they should think, feel, or behave in general. This also includes assumptions about how situations/encounters with others should unfold. Expectations are outside our control. And typically when expectations are unspoken or unrealistic, they tend to create frustration, disappointment, and resentment.

The key distinction is control and communication. Values direct individual behavior; expectations attempt to predict or manage someone else’s behavior. Healthy relationships and emotional well-being improve when individuals anchor themselves in values and replace unspoken expectations with clearly communicated standards or boundaries. In short, values keep you grounded; expectations, when unchecked, set you up for frustration and disappointment.

Noting the distinction, I want to share three reasons that I have found in my journey that illustrate how life can be better without expectations.

HERE ARE 3 REASONS WHY LIFE IS BETTER WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS

1. You Avoid Disappointment

I don't know if you've ever heard the phrase "When you assume you make an ass out of yourself," but it's a clear indicator of how assumptions are not reliable. Oscar Wilde's notion still valid to this day, in that I believe the original quote reads “When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.” Ultimately suggesting that assumptions and expectations are unnecessary, pointless and ineffective.

When you have expectations and make assumptions, you don't realize that you are legitimately setting yourself up for failure. So, look at it this way, if you accept that we do not know and can't control everything, you will assume nothing.

Understanding this helps level sets your understanding and removes any expectation for a particular result. And if you release the expectation, you can walk through life making better choices and being open to reacting to situations organically. Not allowing anticipating or assumed outcomes to frustrate and disappoint you.

2. You Experience the Moment Fully

When you stop anticipating how things or people “should” be, you can engage fully with the present, savoring experiences as they happen. Often, we miss so much of life for fear of being let down, so we assume predicting every outcome of every scenario/situation will yield better results, but that could not be further from the truth.

Listen, I understand it's hard to clear your mind and try to live in the space created in the given moment, because we are trained to "be prepared". But you can't be prepared for something you don't know is coming. Therefore, if we change our perspective of life to operate in the notion that we will never truly be prepared for all aspects of life, we can create a space where we apply realtime creative thinking, strategy and work through disruption or the unknown with grace and resilience. We grant ourselves the flexibility to adjust as needed and the ability to appreciate the unforeseen challenges of life.

3. You Expand Your Perspective and Possibilities

Releasing rigid expectations opens your mind to new outcomes, opportunities, and ways of thinking you might otherwise overlook. And as expectations are assumptions about how events or people should behave, holding tightly to them can create stress, frustration, and cognitive rigidity. By letting go, you reduce these mental and emotional constraints, allowing life to unfold more naturally.

Life becomes richer when you embrace what comes rather than cling to what you think should happen or occur. Therefore, being free to live, be, and exist in the moment, opens up a new perspective of life. Life no longer becomes an obstacle course that you have to strategically navigate for success, it becomes a gift of opportunity, time and endless possibilities. In this state, you are free to fully live, experience, and engage with the world, open to growth, learning, and the unexpected joys that come from simply being present.

As with all my posts, I like to challenge my readers' perspectives for growth purposes. This post is no exception. So, here's hoping you find the reward for applying any lessons learned.

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