Married or Not...
I can't believe I will be 35 this year!
And while I am absolutely excited about this milestone, I am constantly reminded of what I do not have in the love department. That which led me to consider one of the most commonly asked questions at my age...
Are you married or not?
Presently I am NOT married, and I couldn't be more content with that.
Primarily because while I have been focusing on my own needs and loving myself the past 15 years, many of my friends have been forced to reprioritize their lives to meet the needs of others, often losing themselves. And although I am in no way saying that marriage is not a great thing. I am however stating that focusing on marriage before learning how to love and accept yourself will undoubtedly be challenging, but I digress and will save that for another post.
In this year of 35 I have become so comfortable with who I am and loving myself relentlessly, that I have shamelessly considered whether I'd even want to be married in the future.
Crazy to think I have had those thoughts recently, considering that I love the idea of love so much. But even witnessing individuals I have once loved exist in marriage, it has been surreal seeing them in marriages that they launched into out of fear or selfishness, only to later learn that in time, they'd have to confront those fears and/or selfish motives.
And unfortunately for many of those individuals, divorce is more and more common...like the divorce rate isn't high enough already.
But bottomline, if you start a relationship without the tools to succeed, especially if the attraction and desire is not there, your differences will be without question "irreconcilable".
For me, the concept of marriage as a whole is getting lost, and I find myself frequently considering whether or not it's meant for me to engage in.
While I am sure all of these thoughts will evaporate as soon as a man worthy of my love and vice versa appears in my world, I know that at this point in my life, nothing is more important than loving myself in preparation to love someone in the most genuine, honest and undeniable way possible.
WILL I GET MARRIAGE OR NOT?
Jury is still out on that one.
But I do believe that each love lesson (man I have loved and been loved by) has taught me more and more about myself as a woman, my needs and my limits.
I can ultimately, without doubt, explain how I want to be loved, and the best way to love me. I would simply only be waiting on the man who wants to take on that challenge.
And I think if many of us gave that same consideration to maintaining the integrity of love, the divorce rate would be reduced drastically...
Share your thoughts and comments below.