Reestablishing and Maintaining Confidence
No matter where you are in your journey of life, it is inevitable that you will come to a point where you have to work at reestablishing your confidence.
As we get older, and life happens, we often encounter situations that test us, our will and ability to persevere. Those are the very things that challenge our confidence. Experiences that make us evaluate our choices and deconstruct ourselves, essentially to see if we have what it takes to restore ourselves.
So what does it take to restore confidence?
The answer is very complex, because there is no blanket response. No two techniques will work for the same two people. And honestly, when considering what you need to do to restore your confidence, you have to also consider your insecurities, weaknesses and level of self-esteem, at the time you lost it. You need to identify those things to determine what you should actually work on to restore your confidence.
For instance, take a scenario where you lost your job. But, before losing your job you felt on top of the world, everything was working, you had all everything together. But when you lost your job, you were positive and felt empowered that you were going to get another. Unfortunately, after repeatedly applying for 4 to 6 months you are still unemployed, and feeling inadequate. Your confidence is low because you can't determine why you have not been able to locate a job. You have bills, etc. that need to be paid and no steady income...
So what do you do?
How do you restore your confidence when you have very little to be confident in?
Here are a few techniques you can use to assist with restoring your confidence!
POSITIVE SELF TALK
Positive self talk are words of encouragement to yourself. No one can motivate you like you. No one knows you (or no one should know you) better than you know yourself. You know what you need to hear to get through the day, so say it!
Being positive with yourself, subconsciously encourages you to surround yourself with others who are just as positive.
If you pay attention, you'll start to notice how easily you disassociate yourself from "non positive" friends or people in general. And that disassociation is your efforts to protect your positive outlook on life. That which is the fundamental stepping stone of rebuilding your confidence!
Sometimes we don't like to acknowledge that our current circumstances are result of our own choices. With that being said, we often lose confidence because we don't want to accept that we caused misfortune upon ourselves, and that it is now up to us to change it.
It is so easy to blame someone else for our downfalls, but when it comes down to it, we can't expect anyone but ourselves to change our circumstances. So, in order to do that, we have to be willing to learn from the current circumstances, and desire new circumstances.
That desire, is what gets us motivated to change.
WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE Change is not always bad. Change is often what is needed to get you where you need to be.
However, it's only after you identify the cause and accept the present circumstances, that you can change effectively. In order to change effectively, you must reevaluate and determine your needs and wants. But focus on the needs, those are your priorities, which should be sustaining your mental health and financial stability (your livelihood), to ensure that you can meet your basic needs.
What needs to be done to ensure those needs looks different to everyone, but you have to know yourself, to know what you need to do to support that change.
But you won't change if you can't recognize the need to. And that comes through accepting the reality of your present.
So now that you've explored a few things that help restore confidence, once you reestablish confidence, it's important that you explore what it means to maintain that confidence in the most healthy way.
Let's try something...
Think of a period in your life when you were most confident. Now, consider the things that stood out during that time, with regard to your personality and habits during that period. Also consider what you felt like (emotionally) and what your mental state was at the time...
For many of us, when we are confident, we are not stressed, we are happy, typically probably physically fit or active, and our esteem is high. We also tend to be very accepting, and willing to take life as it comes to us.
We only lose that confidence in moments of turmoil, extreme loss, etc.
The point of this is to identify what you did, or do in the periods of your life where everything is good, that assist you with maintaining your confidence and peace. Those are the behaviors that you need to actively engage in, to maintain that confidence daily.
It's really not rocket science, it just takes effort. And placing the appropriate value on confidence, will ensure that we have proper effort (willingness) to maintain it!
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