In a socially driven culture, it is easy to operate under the expectations of social acceptance. And if we're honest, our day-to-day actions, how we view ourselves, etc., prompt us to give way more consideration to other's opinions than our own. Therefore in instances where we fall short of social expectations, we can encounter embarrassment and shame. That embarrassment can be momentary or for some, if viral, can be detrimental to our social image and psyche. Thus, I have developed this post to share with you all 4 tips on how to survive social shame and embarrassment.
HERE ARE 4 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IN ORDER TO SURVIVE SOCIAL SHAME!
I. EXAMINE RELEVANCY
Many assume that social embarrassment and shame have to be the worst possible thing ever experienced, but that is not true. The value that we place on social shame plays a role in how relevant we make it. Shame essentially encompasses more of how we feel, and is heightened by the value we place on that discomfort. Thus, we can dictate how relevant that shame gets to be. And the more we devalue shame, the less impactful it tends to be.
II. ACKNOWLEDGE IT!
Often dealing with an issue (particularly embarrassment) it is handled by allowing it to blow over or assuming it will go away, without ever addressing or acknowledging it. But acknowledging the circumstance or situation that caused embarressment can take ammunition away from those who bask in making you suffer by reliving your downfall or shame. By acknowledging your experience you get the opportunity to affirm that you are human and not exempt from shame. You allow yourself to shed light on your humility and appear more relatable by laughing at yourself. Essentially, it's a positive way to handle non-flattering moments or situations.
Self-evaluation is a necessary part of self-awareness and self-development but it is also a beneficial tool in situations of embarrassment and shame. Not only for you to check in with your feelings and emotions so that you can regulate them, but also to ensure that they stay positive. By self-evaluating you give yourself the ability to moderate your response and reassess how you are distributing your energy. Paying attention to (and constantly evaluating) emotions is a process necessary to ensure a positive self-image and moderate negative behaviors and or negative emotional responses.
IV. RECLAIM YOUR POWER!
We love to be in control, so why not maintain control over your actions and reactions and allow that control to empower you? Sounds simple, but when practiced, operating in a way that exhibits control over our behavior is what makes us powerful. Knowing that no situation, circumstance, shame, or embarrassment has control to take you to a place you don't want to go is impressive and takes a great deal of strength. That's why self-evaluation is so important, we need to regain control over our emotions so that we can regain our power, ultimately motivating us to be mindful of how we relinquish that power in future situations.
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