Maintaining Healthy Relationships & Fulfilling Connections

First and foremost, I wish you all a prosperous and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And congrats!!! Because you've made it to the last post in this 3-part series, so you're ready to learn how to maintain healthy, fulfilling relationships. To ensure a clear understanding, let's recap what each post has provided thus far.

Post one explored individual foundations, including discovering where you need to grow and evolve to become the partner you desire to be. And how to approach dating with intentionality, focusing on how to make sure you are approaching dating from a healed, balanced, and purposeful place. As well helping to identify connection types to maximize success in dating. Ultimately, post one facilittes understanding hindrances to achieving dating goals and having successful relationships. Including understanding whether or not you're allowing prior relationships to influence how you approach dating with purpose and intention. So please be sure to read it if you have not already.

The second post provided two tools to assist with evaluation in dating, to ensure an authentic connection and compatibility. This included a discussion on the importance of honest communication, identifying and understanding the qualities you seek in a partner, and remaining true to that pursuit. Again, please be sure to read that one also if you have not already.

Now, this post examines healthy relationship dynamics that foster lasting and fulfilling connections in pursuit of long-term goals. Therefore, this post introduces 5 important characteristics and dynamics of healthy relationships necessary for advancing healthy connections and facilitate long term partnerships.

5 Healthy Relationship Characteristics and Dynamics

I. Balanced Individuality and Togetherness

Contrary to popular belief, healthy relationships and partnerships thrive when individuals are intentional about maintaining their individual identity and independence. Because when you think about it, codependence will make someone lose interest, attraction and love for their partner. Especially if the partner is not terminally, severely ill or in a state that requires dependence. And even in those instances, embracing dependence of a partner is a choice.

That aside, it's important to understand that you can certainly share a life with someone and still be an individual and maintain your independence. Partnership does not require that you lose who you are to in order to connect with, support or express love to another. Therefore, it is important to recognize and value individuality in relationships. Ultimately, showing up and recognizing who you are as an individual fosters a greater interest or I should say, it certainly should cultivate/foster greater interest from your partner. Because the more they learn of you, the more they get to accept, admire and appreciate. And that's where genuine acceptance and interest rests. When someone is appreciating who you are and loving you, it encourages you to continue to love and spend time with that individual. And as a result, embracing individuality fosters genuine acceptance and increased confidence in the individual and the partnership. As well, acceptance of your partner intensifies attraction and vulnerability, facilitating a strong, lasting connection.

II. Nurtured Emotional Intimacy and Strengthened Trust

Number two speaks to efforts made to maintain an intimate bond. Healthy relationships require partners who are actively engaged and interested in one another. Healthy partners love in a way that they intentionally keep the connection strong through effort. And that may sound like a lot of work, but honestly, genuine effort and love for your partner translates naturally from your interest, attraction and willingness to be vulnerable. That's where nurturing a greater emotional connection should blossom. And from there, trust strengthens.

III. Managed Conflict

It was not until today that I realized of all the posts I have thus far, conflict resolution is not one of them. I speak about communication and forgiveness, but not conflict resolution, so this step is important. I want to be clear, however, that conflict is healthy and can be constructive. Most assume that conflict is automatically negative but differences are to be anticipated. The concern with conflict rests in how it's handled and navigated, not that it exists at all. That noted, let's dive into what healthy conflict looks like.

Healthy conflict, in my opinion, is managed in one of two ways once it presents. First, it can be agreeing to disagree or 2) seeking greater understanding in order to foster a deeper connection or bond. Conflict and conflict resolution only become negative when there are unhealthy or immature responses to it. In other words, challenges with conflict resolution present where there are fundamental issues with communication. Additionally, where there is lack of emotional intelligence and an inability to articulate feelings in a healthy way. Therefore, the key is to make sure to recognize first, how to communicate (CLICK HERE TO READ POST), second, actively work to develop emotional intelligence (CLICK HERE TO READ POST), and third, exercise forgiveness when necessary (CLICK HERE TO READ POST).

It is also important to recognize that differences can exist in healthy relationships, so do confuse compatibility with only seeking someone that sees the world exactly as you do. Resolution includes appreciating differences, acceptance, accountability and empathy. Each conflict illustrates a new level of completxity to understanding your partner and the intensity of your connection. How you respond should reflect your level of love, adoration, respect and appreciation not only for the individual, but for yourself and the relationship.

IV. Occasional Re-Evaluation of Relationship Health/Dynamics

Occasionally checking in with your partner on their satisfaction in the relationship supports ensuring that the relationship is mutually beneficial for both parties. Of course, this provides you the opportunity to communicate any needs as well, but ultimately, facilitating an open discussion on relationship satisfaction, provides an opportunity to evaluate whether both parties are on the same page, committed and engaged to support relationship (or partnership) success.

What does this look like? Well the dynamics of the conversation will vary by partnership. But, in established connections, it is important to recognize and address red flags or concerns as they present, instead of waiting until they get to a point where neither party wants to deal with them. Thus, as needs arise, addressing red flags, challenges and concerns will contribute to evolving intimacy through tackling (tough) but necessary conversations. Remember to utilize appropriate communication skills (active listening) and applied emotional intelligence. Furthermore agreeing to disagree to appreciate differences or forgiving when necessary.

V. Setting Shared Goals & Celebrating Progress

Healthy relationships or partnerships involve contributions from both parties. That said, it is important to develop shared goals regarding your relationship. What does this look like? Well naturally, shared goals should address any identified concerns and should be implemented to ensure mutual benefit. In other words, shared goals should demonstrate appreciation, deepen the bond and facilitate trust in the partnership. Examples include:

• Intentional Expressions of Love (Use of Love Languages)

• Facilitation of Intimacy (Vacations/Staycations)

• Improved Communication

• Increased Independence and Support of Individual/Personal Goals (to Discourage Codependence)

• Intentional Expressions of How Much You Value Your Partner & the Relationship

• Family/Future Planning

And as with all goals that you set and achieve, there should certainly be intentional celebration of progress and achievement!

CLOSING STATEMENT & UNPOPULAR ADVICE

It is important that partners show up authentically and honestly in the connection (relationship). This means do not lie, or try to protect the feelings of the other party. While perceptions of emotional protection seem great, they can be VERY HARMFUL to long term relationships dynamics. This is because partners tend to omit (leave out) information that they feel will harm their partner, or move in ways that restricts who they are to please their partner. These are VERY HARMFUL actions because the perception then becomes that you are inauthentic and have been lying about who you are. That then prompts the other party to question everything about you, your intention, your motivations, etc. Thus, if you geneuinely value your relaitonship and connection BE HONEST no matter the perceived cost. You will benefit in the long term for it. And where you discover that someone is not appreciative of that level of honesty, it is likely that you both are not on the same maturity level to support a healthy relationship dynamic.

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